The Importance of Found Families

LGBTQMental health

Jan 7

Written By Carys Mullins

What are they?

Picture of a diverse family standing in front of a white house. — Everyone has a biological family (unless there’s something you’d like to tell the group). However, not everyone has a loving, living, or healthy biological family.

**Found families fill this gap.**
Found families are a collection of individuals who are not blood relatives but support, replicate, and act as a traditional family.
These relationships can be comprised of close friends, partners, parental-like figures or role models, and such.

Why are we talking about this?

Great question. Family relationships are vital to the development and stability of our mental health.

A healthy family structure can “provide a greater sense of meaning and purpose as well as social and tangible resources that benefit well-being,” according to the GSA journal Innovative Aging.

Boy sitting in the dark looking distance and sad. — In contrast, poor or absent family connections can bring psychological stress to children, teens, and adults. The dire need for better-connected families is prevalent right now.
**Currently, society seems to be in the midst of a family crisis.**

In a recent research study, “only 11% of children came from intact families living with biological parents while 89% had some kind of disruption in their family structure.”

The LGBTQIA+ population makes up a large portion of those in crisis.

Sadly, 39% of LGBTQIA+ people claim that they had been disowned or rejected by their biological family. The study respondents cited their sexual orientation and gender identity as the core reason for being rejected.

Transgender youth, **especially trans youth of color**, seem to feel the biggest impact. The UCLA Law Williams Institute stated that trans adolescents experienced “bullying, family rejection, and physical and sexual abuse at higher rates” than other young LGBTQIA+ people.

Homelessness is also experienced at a higher rate in this population. The main reason for homelessness in LGBTQIA+ youth was family disownment and running away from toxic households.

Another population that seems to be highly impacted is Gender Nonconforming and Transgender college-age students.

The Journal of College Student Psychotherapy found that this population had “significantly worse family relationships relative to cisgender [students].”

White paint on pavement showing an adult holding the hand of a child. — The journal also noted that the LGBTQIA+ students’ poor family connections caused more mental distress than cis-gender students. As we can see, biological families of LGBTQIA+ do not always create the *most* *positive* environments.

**Not to say this is always the case.**
I know many LGBTQIA+ people, including myself, who have a wonderful relationship with their families. Still, we seem to be an exception to the majority.
**#NotAllBiologialFamilies**

But for those who do have poor family connections, a wide variety of problems can accompany them.

We have already discussed mental distress and homelessness, but it does not end there. Having a disconnected family, especially uninvolved parents, can put someone at “risk of struggling in future relationships due to withdrawal and fear of abandonment.”

It may also cause a greater prevalence of overthinking, poor coping skills, and self-blame. These behaviors are known causes and symptoms of mental illnesses such as depression and generalized anxiety disorder.

Group of teens talking and laughing while walking down a street. — In a nutshell, bad or nonexistent family relationships can wreak havoc on mental health and life circumstances.

**Thankfully, found families can bring relief.**

How do Found Families help?

Found families fill the human need for close, reliable, and safe interpersonal connections.

Since people choose their found family, there is a much greater chance of everyone understanding, relating, and sharing similar thoughts and interests.

LGBTQIA+ people may feel less guarded around their chosen family. Feeling comfortable and free protects us from developing Chronic Stress.

These people can also ease and share our hardships. If a found family includes fellow LGBTQIA+ members, there is a good chance they can relate to each other’s struggles.
It is always nice to talk to someone who listens, but it is even better to talk to someone who *gets it.*
Feeling understood promotes confidence and validates our beliefs (for better or worse). Finding a group of empathic, understanding, and genuine people to call your family is one of the greatest feats a person can achieve.

Even better, it is not hard to do.

There are many ways to find and create your own tribe. Some examples include:

Joining clubs, sports, or LGBTQIA+ organizations.
Interacting (safely) with online forums.
Going to community events that match your interests.
Volunteering!
Getting involved in school or work.