Retaliation And LGBTQ Mental Health
The choice to come out, even if only to close family and friends, is one that many LGBTQIA+ people mull over for a long time. Questions arise about the possible benefits and consequences, the reaction of others, and whether or not their environment is safe enough to be out in. Every fear surrounding coming and being out can actually be traced back to just one: the fear of retaliation.
Retaliation can take many forms. Microaggressions, workplace discrimination, rejection, stereotyping, purposeful invasive questioning (as opposed to genuine interest or pure ignorance), bullying, or any form of anti-LGBTQIA+ activity is retaliation at its core.
But what are they getting back at? What is there to pay back? Well, the truth is, nothing. Nothing at all.
However, people who are entrenched in misinformation, learned hatred, and perhaps internalized homophobia create false reasoning to justify retaliation. LGBTQIA+ people are doing everything right and nothing wrong by coming out and being proud. Those who punish people for simply existing as themselves are misled by hate.
Unfortunately, while LGBTQIA+ people have done nothing wrong, they still face the consequences of others' misplaced attacks. Specifically, their mental well-being takes an enormous hit.
In an article within the Annals of LGBTQ Public and Population Health Volume 2, Issue 3, researchers found that “greater bullying and family rejection were associated with lower LGBTQ identity pride and, in turn, greater depression.” Bullying and rejection? Sound familiar?
I mentioned those as examples of retaliation a few paragraphs ago. There is one more thing you should notice. In the study, they found that retaliation lowered the group’s pride in their LGBTQ identity, which brought on increased depression. It tracks that the study also found that “greater general and LGBTQ-specific family support were associated with greater LGBTQ identity pride and, in turn, lower depression.”
All of those fancy words boil down to this: having pride in your LGBTQ identity equals less risk of depression and not having pride equals more risk. This is actually a helpful finding as well as good news for the community.
How so, you may ask? Well, it shows that retaliation itself isn’t what causes mental health disparities in LGBTQ people. Instead, it is the way that retaliation impacts our self-worth, esteem, and love. While we cannot stop every attack or change everyone’s mind, we can find ways to ignore them and cope with these incidents.
By not allowing misplaced hatred to bring us down, we can protect our mental health and fight off depression. To be fair, this is easier said than done. But, it means that no one is powerless and that fighting for your mental well-being isn’t pointless. The first step to protecting your mental health from retaliation is understanding the other person's motivations.
Never assume that someone attacks your identity because they have a personal problem with you or even a real issue with your identity.
People can be fed misinformation or taught to behave negatively towards LGBTQ+ people by authority figures - who almost always have a selfish motivation for teaching such lies. They may also be dealing with internalized homophobia/transphobia, which can cause people to take out their internal confusion on others.
As harsh as this comes out, not everyone’s hatred is about you. Accepting that is a helpful step in not letting retaliation get under your skin and into your head. I do want to be clear that these are in no way excuses for retaliation. I am simply pointing out that most of the time, people are discriminatory because they have their own issues to sort out and not because they wake up every day with the sole goal of being hateful.
It’s a hard pill to swallow for pessimists like me, but a necessary and factual one. Overall, while retaliation is a very possible result of being and coming out as LGBTQIA+ and can badly impact your mental health, you are capable of overcoming the challenge. You can get started by exploring our resource page: a database of mental health, financial, and legal resources for LGBTQ+ people across the United States.
Sources: https://connect.springerpub.com/content/sgrlgbtq/2/3/203.abstract
