Effects of Internalized Homophobia
Homophobia is not a new concept by any means, but internalized homophobia may be a new term to some. We often think of LGBTQAI+ related hate to be channeled through the actions of others. However, more often we experience hate from within. Much like mental illness, internalized homophobia (IH) and self-rejection can cause both short-term and long-term consequences. Here’s how:
Relationship Problems
Each person has a unique love life and a variety of dynamics with their friends. Queer relationships are no exception, but some struggle more than others. If you struggle with internalized homophobia, you may feel a sense of doubt, anxiety, or paranoia when in a Queer relationship. While a straight couple could have these feelings as well, with a Queer couple, the reason behind the feelings may not be as simple as the way your partner chews their food. You may not be able to pinpoint what exactly about the relationship is making you feel ashamed or alienated. This lack of clarity can put walls up between partners and communication issues. Additionally, you may experience depression due to IH. Depression has been cited by The American Psychological Association as one connection between internalized homophobia and relationship problems. If you think your relationship is suffering as a result of this culturally fueled self-stigma, have a chat with your partner, therapist, or trusted friend. You can overcome this and get back to dinner dates and movie nights!
Health Issues
Regular check-ups, sexually responsible precautions, and screening for STDs are vital to anyone’s health regardless of sexuality. For LGBTQAI+ individuals, however, decades of health care discrimination and social stigma around gay and lesbian sex complicated things. IH can add to the already present obstacles to treatment and optimal health. By remaining closeted, ashamed, or fearful of your true self, you put yourself at risk of poor health and quality of life. Individuals who are ashamed of their sexual preferences, but remain sexually active, are more likely to refuse screenings. In doing so, they place themselves at risk of missing a diagnosis and their partner at risk of contracting it. Never let fear control your health. For more facts on HIV, STDs, and Sexual Health, go here.
Depression
Mental illness and the LGBTQAI+ community have always had some sort of link, real or bogus. Nevertheless, depression is a very real effect of IH. The scientific community has limited research on this phenomenon, but the studies that are out there claim depression symptoms and anxiety as common co-occurring issues alongside IH. This is most likely because internalization of self-conflict can lead to equally concealed mental health struggles. Just like hiding our gender or sexual identity puts a strain on our minds, hiding mental illness does too. Internalization does not make these issues go away, but rather they are solidified and more stress-inducing than if they were not hidden. Just because others can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there and harming your well-being. IH and depression are a dangerous combination and in some cases can lead to an increased risk of suicide and other mental health disorders. If you think you may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, call 1-800-273-8255 or click here.
No matter what your family, friends, co-workers, street hasslers, or Twitter trolls say about you, only you decide who you are. No one needs to hide or change themselves to fit the mold or please others. Don’t live your life in someone else’s image.
Coming from someone who was in the closet for years and still struggles with coming out to new people, believe me, nothing good comes out of internalization. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, body image, and Anorexia. While not all of those challenges can be directly contributed to IH, it certainly did not help me recover and accept myself.
My advice: Don’t allow your internal doubt to manifest as external deteriorations.
Be open, be out, and be CALM!
Sources:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S027273581000125X
https://academic.oup.com/her/article/15/1/97/775710
https://equityhealthj.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12939-017-0530-1
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-27485-006
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-00624-018
