To Be an Ally of Equality
Ally: a non-LGBTQ+ person who actively supports those who are LGBTQ+.
When laws, policy, family, systems, and communities do us wrong, allies have our backs.
Everyone knows that no battle is won alone.
Whether help is given by a friend or a lesson is learned from the mistakes of a foe, we need aid to overcome trying times.
The LGBTQ+ community knows this principle better than most. For centuries, minorities have been denied the ability to stand up for themselves in politics, religion, and moral debates.
We were silenced, but our supporters were not.
Allies have played a significant role in the development of LGBTQ+ rights across the world. They play an equally important part in mental health advocacy.
Today we will discuss the roles and responsibilities of being an ally in mental health advocacy.
To do so, we must first cover what it means to be a True Ally, plus how to address false allyship.
What is Allyship?
I just established a general definition. Now we will review what it means to actively support the community.
The number one thing to keep in mind is this:
An ally is an advocate, not a representative.
Allies do not reflect the struggles and suffering of the LGBTQ+ community. They are not a substitute for LGBTQIA+ people.
Having an ally as a president is not the same as having lesbian women as President. An ally can advocate for the lesbian President, but they are not her.
An ally’s first job as an ally is to support us.
This means uplifting the voice of the community. I do not mean to say allies should be silent cheerleaders. I encourage allies to speak out, as long as it is not adding to the noise that ultimately drowns out LGBTQ+ people.
Fight alongside us, not for us.
The second job all allies have is to learn. At the most basic level, know the correct terminology and its importance. The next level is staying informed of policies and bills that affect LGBTQ+ equality. This level also includes studying a little about the history of LGBTQ+ people.
To be well-versed, research topics like minority stress theory, internalized homophobia, and systematic discrimination.
Knowing the message of the movement is more than understanding what we want and why.
The best allies understand how we can get it, why we lack it, and what we need to sustain it in the future. They should be capable of explaining it to the opposition and the new generation.
The third job is integral to allyship.
Remain humble and do not be self-righteous.
A True Ally is not supporting the community to fill their time, receive praise, or feel good about themself. Lastly, supporters must be willing to make mistakes and correct them.
What is False Allyship?
This can get tricky.
We have established what it means to be a True Ally. However, not fulfilling all of the roles does not make one untrue.
Circumstances could prevent someone from doing any duty. This includes being in an unsafe environment, a lack of resources, or illness.
False allyship is a deliberate attempt to occupy a space in the community to cause harm.
A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.
You can spot a false ally by their actions. These actions can be microaggressions or subtle mannerisms. Examples include frequently talking over LGBTQ+ people, making offensive jokes, and purposefully asking invasive questions.
Take this scenario:
John claims to support a school friend, Joey, being gay. He never makes homophobic comments around Joey or bullies him.
However, John makes jokes about Joey falling in love with him and acts overly awkward in the locker room.
Then, when Joey gets a boyfriend, John asks invasive and sexual questions and changes topics when Joey discusses his partner.
This is a case of false allyship.
Other red flags to look out for are hypocrisy, situational support, and neutrality. If John claims to support gay people, but only if they do not have a crush on him, that is circumstantial.
If he refuses to let Joey talk about his boyfriend but always brings us his girlfriend, this is hypocrisy. If John allowed his other friends to make fun of Joey, even if he did not participate, this is neutrality.
False allyship is just another way to say anti-LGBTQ. If a person you know denies being untrue despite these behaviors, they are gaslighting you.
Which, by the way, is not only a red flag for false allyship. It is a sign of abusive tendencies.
Roles and Responsibilities
With clear lines drawn, let us discuss the roles and responsibilities of allies in a more particular area: LGBTQ+ Mental Health.
I created the acronym S.A.V.E. to outline the biggest priorities for all allies:
Spreading accurate and relevant information.
Advocate for inclusive treatment practices.
Vote NO on anti-LGBTQ+ bills and policies.
Engage with pro-LGBTQ+ mental health organizations.
Let me break down each duty in more detail.
By spreading accurate and relevant information, allies can stop the spread of misinformation. The opposition often attempts to offset the movement’s efforts by using outdated facts and research. When we release updated scientific material, we gain credibility and dismantle lies.
Advocacy is the second vital role.
Knowledge is power, but power is pointless if not put to good use.
Spreading information lets people understand there is an issue. Advocacy lets people know the humanity behind the numbers. It is the responsibility of an advocate to help foster better relationships between LGBTQ+ people and the systems we reside in.
Voting in the third role.
I specified voting NO on harmful policies, but I would like to assert that saying YES to helpful ones is just as important. Notably, this is the role where learning is applied.
By knowing the history of some laws, we can know which ones to take down. In addition, understanding the terminology helps allies comprehend LGBTQ-related bills without being confused or manipulated.
The final role of allies is to engage. This can be with LGBTQ+ mental health nonprofits, school clubs, this blog, or fundraising efforts.
As long as they remain proactively involved with the movement, I encourage allied people to get creative with how they engage with these organizations.
Regardless of how they participate or to what level, support for their missions keeps them alive in society. Nonprofits especially need the backing of allied volunteers and donors.
Overall, the duties of allies must always benefit the LGBTQ+ community first and foremost. Many get lost in the heat of the campaign, but the purpose should never be overshadowed.
Gaining mental health equality for LGBTQ+ people will take more than a day at a rally, a few blog posts, and a heated Tweet.
To obtain it requires unyielding dedication, passion, and the strength of a community.
Today, I only ask that you look within yourself and ask:
