Journaling for Mental Health: How LGBTQ people can benefit.
When I was first diagnosed with Anorexia, an eating disorder marked by an obsession with weight and food, low self-esteem, and fear of gaining weight, my therapist recommended that I start journaling.
I thought it was nonsense.
How was writing down my feelings supposed to help? Plus, writing my thoughts on paper was scary. Once I wrote them down, they became real. I was correct and incorrect. Journaling did make my thoughts and feelings feel more real to me. However, that was a good thing.
When you have an ED, you don't know how irrational your thoughts or actions are. They make complete sense to you. Then, you write them down.
With this, you are forced to put irrationality into comprehensible sentences. You are forced to use simplicity because language is restrictive. As a result, your overwhelming emotions get watered down.
This may seem odd, but it is actually helpful. For example, I was once in a residential center for eating disorder treatment. One day, I got upset after eating pasta (yes, pasta).
I could not explain why. So, my therapist told me to journal. I stared at the paper for a while before finding the words.
It was something like: “I do not want to eat pasta and they forced me to...I want to go home.”
My therapist pointed out two things after reading that. Number one, I did not have control over the situation. I did not want to do something, but I had to do it. Number two, I felt trapped – another control issue.
The pasta was not the culprit.
The problem was that I didn’t have a choice. I couldn't leave the hospital on my own accord. I was forced into treatment. I could not control what I ate, drank, or did. After that realization, we explored my need for control and completely removed pasta from the equation.
The moral of the story is that journaling can help you identify the underlying cause of your thinking patterns. To fight the beast, you have to know the beast. So, how can this be applied uniquely to the LGBTQ community? Let’s dive in!
LGBTQ Mental Health
Survivors of anti-LGBTQ violence, abuse, or mistreatment may blame themselves for the hateful actions of others. These survivors may develop PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. Then, they may blame themselves for having that illness.
Of course, it is not their fault. Trauma can warp our thinking and cause low self-esteem. When that happens, journaling can help LGBTQ people separate themselves from the person or thing who is really at fault.
Let’s use this example:
A bisexual teenager lives with biphobic parents. The parents shame the teen, call them names, and neglect them. The teenager becomes depressed. They start blaming themselves for their parents' actions. The teen thinks things like “if I was not bisexual, they would love me” or “if I was a better person, they wouldn’t treat me this way.”
The truth is that the parents are hateful. The teen did nothing wrong, even if the parents said otherwise. Journaling can help the teen realize that. A good journal exercise for identifying the cause of the problem and finding a solution is a Problem Chart.
The rule for the Problem Chart I created is as follows:
“If the things I CAN control have contributed to the Core of the Problem, then I have to take full or partial responsibility for the problem. If the things I CAN NOT control have contributed to the Core of the Problem, then I DO NOT have to take full or partial responsibility for the problem.”
Here the problem chart for the teen’s situation:
To compare, let’s say the teen got in trouble for yelling at their sister.
Here is what that chart might look like:
See the difference?
The teen could control and did contribute to the problem in the second chart, but not the first.
The Problem Chart outlines with simple sentences and connections the cause of the issue. Now, I know charts are not for everyone. Some of you might have skipped that section and I do not blame you. It’s important to find your personal journaling methods!
Here are some different methods to try out:
Lyric writing.
Audio journals.
Third-person narrative writing.
Bullet points and other lists.
Question and Answer.
No matter what, you should give journaling a try if you are in the LGBTQ community. Even those without a mental health disorder can reap the benefits.
Being in the LGBTQ community comes with dealing with bigotry. You can’t go wrong with reminding yourself that other people’s unhappiness and hate are not on you. And who knows, you may learn new things about yourself!
