Why we are CALM
Nothing is more important than standing up for what you believe. It can be social justice, educational reform, a law or policy, or even something as simple as how you pronounce “pecan” (I say pa-con).
Whatever your tune is, play it as far as you can and never give up. That was my mindset when I decided I wanted to start The CALM Blog. I fully understood the dire need for reform in the mental healthcare system, especially for people within the LGBTQ+ community.
It was my personal experience that ignited the fire in my soul. The fire that urged me to advocate for others in a similar position. My journey took me through various aspects of the system, from 3-month residential to one-hour therapy sessions. I got exposed to multiple centers, doctors, nutritionists, therapists, and mental health techs. Unfortunately, despite the variety, one variable remains constant.
Inequality.
While in an all-female residential center for eating disorders, I met a man who, for anonymity, I will call Ivan. He is transgender and identifies He/They. Ivan struggled with an eating disorder, just like the rest of the residents. However, he needed different mediums and methods of care. The portion of treatment related to body dysmorphia* was focused on overcoming stigmas with women’s fashion, beauty standards, and weight.
However, Ivan did not benefit from this approach and many other women-centric approaches used in the center. Ivan requested being placed into a men’s care center and got denied due to his biological sex. He also did not receive the full support of the staff in calling him the proper name or pronouns. That added to Ivan’s emotional struggle, which may have caused the recovery process to be more challenging than it already is.
That is just one example of denial, discrimination, and stigmatization in the mental health care system. It does not even come close to ending with this story. Transgender and Non-Binary people often face denial of care, disregard, and misinformed medical staff. Gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pansexual, et al. face similar roadblocks when seeking care.
Furthermore, the struggle extends beyond the providers. The LGBTQ+ community, despite being twice as likely to have a mental health disorder than heterosexual/cisgender people, often ignore or hide their mental health problems. Such is partly due to already present self-doubt and reported low levels of self-esteem. It is also due to the fear of being judged, dismissed, or silenced.
For me, I hide away my identity as a pansexual for years. I was terrified of being disowned, bullied, attacked, or losing my friends. The stress negatively impacted my self-image, self-respect, and fed into my eventual development of depression and anorexia.
Thankfully, I was able to overcome my fears, stresses, and doubts. I was able to access resources for LGBTQ+ youth, receive treatment, and come out to a supportive family! Still, I am one of the lucky ones. Thousands of youth, adults, and elders suffer from the faults of the system and slip through the cracks. That is why I chose to become an advocate. That is why, alongside a good friend, I started CALM.
It is this blog’s purpose to create a safe space for LGBTQ+ people of all races, ages, backgrounds, and lifestyles. Our mission is to create reform in the mental health system, to transform it into a healing tool for ALL care seekers. We promise to always look for ways to not only create this change but to be the change.
A/N
*a distinct mental disorder in which a person is preoccupied with an imagined physical defect or a minor defect that others often cannot see.
For resources regarding seeking help for an Eating Disorder, go to https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline NOW.
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.
