The holidays are supposed to be a joyous occasion filled with love and happiness; a time you can get together with your whole family, catch up, and enjoy each other’s company. However, here’s the thing about family:

We cannot pick and choose them like we do our friends. 

Sometimes, they do not agree with our views, choices, and (as silly as it may seem) who we are. That can lead to a very tense holiday season. 

I feel the go-to reaction is to ignore the situation and guide any conversation away from our differences. Another common response is to fight back and divide one another even further. 

Tik-Tok trends even make jokes out of fighting with your family on Thanksgiving and Christmas. This behavior has made inciting conflict a more popular way of dealing with the holidays. 

But, as with most things, popular does not mean good.

To be clear, I will not sit here and tell you the right way to get through the celebrations. No one else should either. 

You need to do what is best for you and your family. If that means avoiding problematic topics, then that is what you should do.

Nevertheless, you should never have to hide your true self or feel like you are letting others down by doing what is best for you.

Do not let your family pressure you into being nice.

Do not be bullied into staying close to those who judge and undervalue you.

When friends treat us poorly, we talk it out. We find a way to resolve conflict instead of creating more. When we cannot, we let them go.

You need to do the same with family. 

The holidays are supposed to be fun and spent with those you cherish. Pleasing others by putting yourself down only prevents you from enjoying this wonderful time of year.

Gather with loved ones that accept you, even if it is just friends, co-workers, a significant other, or your cat.

There is nothing wrong with that. 

It is hard not being accepted by your family members, especially during a time so focused on the value of such constructs. 

While being reminded of it during the holiday season may take the joy and excitement away, you can get through it. 

You can reclaim the holidays. You have that right and that power. 

So what are you waiting for? Do what is right and sound for your mental health and wellbeing. 

If that means canceling dinner plans with Aunt Karen and ordering pizza while chilling with your bestie, go for it. 

We are cheering you on!

• Happy Holidays from the CALM Team.