Inclusive But Not Actually
“It is often easier to become outraged by injustice half a world away than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home.” - Carl T. Rowan
If you take nothing else away from reading this, let it be that quote. The LGBTQIA+ community faces bigotry from outside forces constantly. Many organizations and groups, such as CALM, fight to address the issue. But what we do not see often are people standing up to push back against the bigotry from inside forces.
Those who have multiple marginalized identities and think that the LGBTQIA+ community is a safe haven for people of all identities may be walking into something else entirely.
As a community, we must do more to face this problem head-on. It may seem uncomfortable to claim the community has sections of hate and ignorance. We pride ourselves on acceptance and love. Nonetheless, we have to look at it, acknowledge it, and do something to correct it. Moving toward discomfort is the surefire way to enact change. And there needs to be change.
As mentioned before, people assume the community is a safe space for all. I’d love to say that, but I cannot. LGBTQIA+ people are not immune to being hateful any more than heterosexual or cisgender people are. The community is flooded with Eurocentric beauty standards, “fake fan” mentalities, and stereotyping. Particularly harmful is the issue of stereotyping.
When people think of LGBTQ+ individuals, they likely think of gay men, lesbian women, and transgender people. There are way more recognized identities than just three. Also, gay, lesbian, and transgender people are not the majority within the community. In 2020, about 55% of LGBTQIA+ adults identified as bisexual.
And for the lean part, you do not need statistics to understand that nobody besides runway models (who are known for having eating disorders), mistreated K-pop Idols (also known for disordered eating…shocking), and Olympic figure skaters (I’ll spare you the repetition) look like the idiotic beauty standard held for gay men and lesbian women.
Lastly, people over the age of 25 can be LGBTQIA+ too, just like straight people can age beyond 25. I was not planning on outlining that one, but maybe someone needs to read that.
These stereotypes are not even a fantasy. I would call them a nightmarish fever dream. In reality, the community is vibrant with diversity. Not accepting that fact is problematic to the well-being of the community as a whole and the individuals on the receiving end. The last we need in inner-community hatred. I mean, sexual and gender minority individuals already deal with increased abuse and rejection from family.
A survey conducted by YouGov found that 43% of transgender and non-binary people experienced abuse from family members. Another study by the Stop Abuse Campaign found that over two-thirds, or about 67%, of LGBTQ+ youth are without family support.
Being rejected from your family due to your sexuality or gender identity can cause severe mental health effects. LGBTQ+ teens who lack family support are eight times more likely to commit suicide and six times more likely to have severe depression. For those who are proactive after family rejection and seek support elsewhere, such as within the community, the outlook can be good. There is a lot of love in Queer spaces for those who seek it out.
However, falling in with the wrong person or group can be disastrous. Imagine that you’ve already been tossed out by your family who is supposed to love you no matter what. Now, you took the risk of putting yourself out to the world to find community. It took strength and hope and all of that is crushed when you’re met with a new kind of discrimination. Where do you go now?
Even though isolation is not the healthy answer, it can seem like the safe one. Two groups who were supposed to embrace you shunned you. You may feel burned and discarded. You might believe that it is your fault when it very well is not. It is the fault of the community’s and the world’s inaction and ignorance.
Instead of withdrawing from these groups, confront them directly. Let them know what they are doing and how they are being discriminatory. The LGBTQIA+ community can become so absorbed in defending themselves from outsider bigots that they forget they too can be ignorant.
Being LGBTQ+ does not absolve you from being in the wrong. People need to be reminded of this so they can self-reflect and make changes if needed. There should be no shame in that either. Looking inwards at your preconceptions can relieve things you may not have realized about yourself. Personal growth is a gift, not a punishment.
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