The Hidden Victims of Domestic Violence
Today we need to talk about a difficult topic. This post has a Trigger Warning for mentions of domestic violence, abuse, rape, and sexual assault.
If you need help, call, text, or chat at https://www.thehotline.org/. It is 100% confidential and can help you find local services, form a safety plan, and more 24/7.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police number now.
The Narrative
We know the narrative. The white girl dates a white man. Everything is wonderful until it isn’t. The man slowly reveals his true colors and eventually falls into abusing the girlfriend. The narrative ends one of two ways: the woman survives and gets help, or she dies. While the concept is not wrong, it is not the whole truth. Millions of stories are left out.
Whose stories?
Those of the LGBTQIA+ community.
While we as a community do our best to share our stories, little is known about our experiences with domestic violence. Thankfully, research has finally begun to shine a light on this oversight.
Void in the System
In 2010, there was zero federal research on LGBTQIA+ domestic violence-related issues. In acknowledgment, the NCAVP issued a statement alongside the study.
It stated the research was “the first nationally representative prevalence estimates of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence among those who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual in the United States.”
For reference, all states outlawed what was then known as “wife-beating” in the 1920s.
In the 1970s, these cases were finally treated as crimes rather than civil disputes or family conflicts.
NCAVP (National Collation Against Domestic Violence) itself was formed in 1973.
One year after the NCAVP published their study, another investigation came out.
It stated that about 62% of LGBTQIA+ individuals who sought aid from a domestic violence shelter were turned away. Even higher was the percent who sought orders of protection from their abusers and were denied, which was 78%.
I am aware that I am throwing a lot of hard numbers at you, so for the next horrific truth, I will use a story:
100 people are severely equally dehydrated and need to buy water.
They can all pay the same price. They all go to the same store.
The seller, however, will only sell six bottles.
When asked why, the seller states, “because I said so.”
So, six people get water, and ninety-four people die.
The End.
That sounded inconceivable, right?
Well, those people and the seller are real. This happens every day, but rather than water, it is domestic violence services.
Oh, and the real reason the seller had? Six were straight and cisgender. The rest were not.
For the readers who prefer numbers, what this means is that 94% of victim services and agencies have no assistance specific to the LGBTQIA+ community.
The reason for this void in the system cannot be simply stated. It would be incorrect and naive to assume the entire system is discriminatory against the community.
Nevertheless, a substantial portion of the reason can be related to the neglect of the community’s needs since the founding of the United States.
The Need for Change
Underrepresented in government, business, education, and healthcare professions cause the voices of these victims to be drowned out. Without advocacy for action, funding, and protection from within those spaces, change will be slow.
While we have made progress in some areas, domestic abuse in the context of gay, lesbian, and bisexual relationships is still hidden in the corners of society.
That is why people like you and I need to speak out and spread the facts.
We are the liaisons between the victims and the systems that have failed them. We need to take matters into our own hands and put the work in.
Whether you can donate to LGBTQIA+ Domestic Violence organizations, volunteer with support services, or call upon local officials to act, do what you can.
If we don’t act, the abusers will.
By then, it will be far too late for far too many.
Sources:
https://vawnet.org/sites/default/files/assets/files/2016-11/NCAVP-NISVS-Statement-Jan2013_0.pdf
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_victimization_final-a.pdf
https://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_SOfindings.pdf
http://www.pacwrc.pitt.edu/Curriculum/310DomesticViolenceIssuesAnIntroductionforChildWelfareProfessionals/Handouts/HO3DomesticViolenceTimeline.pdf